I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
