remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
