My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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