I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
