How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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