mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
