Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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