to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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