New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
