You made me cry and you don't even care
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
