who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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