there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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