member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
