Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
