the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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