I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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