Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
