Where did you get a picture of my penis
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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