yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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