I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
