Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
