it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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