do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
