why didn't you poke me back
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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