I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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