there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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