i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
