It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
