p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
