It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
