i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
