Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Shame is for Republicans.
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