I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
