I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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