I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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