WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
