I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
