It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
