i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
