I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
