Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
