so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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