Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
