I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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