I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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