The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
