i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
