I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
