my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
