My sheets look like a crime scene.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you will always have a special place in my vag
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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