what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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