I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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